Its bad enough I get shat on everyday

For goodness sakes people. Eight Muslims from the hard lines Islamic group Ulama Anjumane Al Baiyeniat (who?) in Dhaka, Bangladesh, have been arrested for damaging a group of six white stork sculptures.The men all armed with shovels and hammers began whacking the 41ft (12.5m) tall structures after an attempt to pull them down with ropes failed. Hmm, they meant business. Ah, it seems this group has a jihad against statues in general because they are seen as a form of idol worship (hmm, better not tell Paula Abdul, she’ll cry!). The eight have been charged with creating chaos and attacking security officials.The sculptor Mrinal Haque has stated the statues which were erected in 1989 had nothing to do with Islam (well they do now!).

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Tasmanian Toxic Big Penguin

Holy public art Batman, the 3m tall Big Penguin in the Tasmanian town of Penguin could be toxic and whats more it could have made thousands of people sick. Hmm, if tests on the big old cement seabird prove positive, then it will have to be put down. Seems a cement worker raised the alarm after he had fears about people’s safety from the leaking asbestos particles. The Big Penguin has been around since 1975 with hundreds of thousands of people standing next to it for a photo or a curious inspection without knowing they could be snorting deadly particles. And what if their worst fears are realized? Penguin’s Mayor Mike Downie says “I would think we would be lynched from the nearest tree if council decided, that if it was a danger to the public, not to replace it.” Hmm, I think there will be a lynching regardless, if asbestos is found!

UPDATE: Yay, Big Penguin is safe! Go give him a hug…

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The statue of ANC activist Gert Sibande in central Bethal (South Africa) has had a paint job done on it (but not in a good way).Nope, vandals went and painted him white. Mission accomplished,they got the reaction they were looking for. Mpumalanga premier Thabang Makwetla angrily declared “I wish to condemn in the strongest possible terms the vandalisation and defacing of the newly erected statue. These are acts of remnants of racism [and] white supremacy who must be isolated and defeated,”.Sibande was an African National Congress activist and a leader of the farm labourers who initiated the potato boycott 1958.

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The Auld Bitch

The controversial statue of Queen Victoria outside the Queen Victoria Building, in Sydney, was created by Irish sculptor, John Hughes, in 1904. The statue was unveiled by King Edward VII on the Kildare front of Leinster House (which was at the time the headquarters of the Royal Dublin Society), in Ireland. When Leinster House became the official seat of Oireachtas Eireann (the parliament of the Irish Free State) the statue became the focus of extreme scrutiny and criticism. Surprisingly, she escaped being blown up (but I guess, only just). Many were horrified that a statue of Queen Victoria could still be standing outside the front of the parliament of the Irish Free State. By 1947 they had had enough and she was unceremoniously removed and thrown into the main courtyard (along with some disused State carriages) at The Royal Hospital, Kilmainham. There she sat year after year, with nobody quite knowing what to do with her. During a Parliament sitting held on 28 May 1974 in Dublin the speaker (Mr Lemass) was quoted as saying ” I think we all agree it is one of the most ugly statues of that royal lady.” She was put on the “Public Art” market, but not a soul was interested in the “Auld Bitch”. Luckily, Australia came to the rescue, in 1983, when the Sydney City Council began a worldwide search for an “unwanted” statue of Queen Victoria (what were the chances?), to be erected outside of the Queen Victoria Building. Imagine the luck of the Irish when they got wind of this. A quick search located the rather neglected queen in the small town of Daingean (don’t ask me how it ended up there). The Republic of Ireland were so happy to off load the statue, they decided to give it to the people of Sydney in the spirit of “goodwill”. In the late 1980’s she left Ireland for good and arrived for a fresh start in Australia, to mark Sydney’s 200th anniversary, in 1987. So now she sits high on her throne, looking down on the people of Sydney, being relatively ignored, as if she was still in Ireland.

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A frog nailed to a cross with a beer mug and an egg in it’s hands has caused quite a commotion in the mountains of Northern Italy. The sculpture is by German artist Martin Kippenberge and the locals are none too happy. The reason it seems is it is too close to the Pope’s summer holiday house. Local Catholics have deemed the little amphibian a “public obscenity” and want it taken out of the Bolzano Museum of Modern Art. Does this mean Pope Benedict is intending to visit the museum? Bless. The problem has grown to aquatic proportions as Bishop of Bolzano and Bressanone,revealed that he had discussed the sculpture with the Pope.Hmm too much time on his hands! Could it get any better ? You bet. The Union for South Tyrol, a separatist group, collected 10,000 signatures for a petition demanding the removal of the crucified froggy and Franz Pahl, the president of Trentino-Alto Adige regional council, has gone on hunger strike in protest over the exhibit. If people only had this type of passion over war and famine!
Oh and if you think it’s the first time the Bolzano Museum has been in trouble, think again. About two years ago the Bolzano museum hit the headlines by displaying a work of art consisting of a toilet flushing to the accompaniment of Italy’s national anthem.

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Some poor soul visiting the Royal Academy’s summer exhibition tripped and slid straight into Christina, a 9ft sculpture by the Costa Rican artist Tatiana Echeverri Fernandez. How would you be? The sculpture shattered into a thousands pieces, as I presume the culprit did too. If that was me I think I would play dead or at least pretend I was hurt more than the sculpture. Just to add insult to injury the sculpture, valued at 6,000 pounds, was said to be the artists “star” piece. But she shouldn’t despair, Nick Flynn takes the honors of being the biggest klutz, he tripped over his shoelace at the Fitzwilliam Museum in Cambridge, sending three Qing dynasty porcelain vases shattering into devaluation.

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I don’t know if billionaire Paul Allen is happy or nervous about a petition flying around South Lake Union’s neighborhood of Cascade Park. It seems the locals are lining up to sign a petition to have a 300-foot-tall (91.4-metre) bronze statue of him erected, but not in a good way. Led by Kapow! coffee shop, businesses in the area are none too happy with his development company, Vulcan Inc, who have lured trendy shops into the area making rent triple. Vulcan owns about one-third of the South Lake Union district. One local declared “If you’ve got buildings going up too tall for people to see the lake, a 300-foot statue is kind of speaking to that, isn’t it?”
Kapow! was also behind a campaign against Vulcan’s street car project, dubbing the trolley car “the slut”. They even sold “Ride the Slut” t-shirts. And what does Vulcan’s spokeswoman have to say about Kapow’s new venture “I think Kapow! has found themselves a wonderful way to make more money poking fun at Paul Allen than selling coffee.” (ouch!). Stay tuned, this is going to be one hell of a fight batman!

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“Just because Europe’s classical statues had small penises,” argued Mark Wignall, an Observer columnist, “does not mean Jamaica must follow suit.” So, I guess you have figured where this is going. Two naked 7ft high bronzes (Redemption Song) erected in Jamaica’s Emancipation Park have caused a debate in Kingston like no other. The main grievance is that the male statue is a tad too well endowed, which only ever seems to be a problem when related to a statue. The issue as I can figure, is that the statues are supposed to symbolize liberation in an independent Jamaica. Well you can’t get more liberated than that can you ?
And, thanks in part to Beyonce, the locals are a bit miffed that the statues appear to be too light skinned. For a country who prides itself on being laid back this public art has stirred a great deal of emotion. Remember the poor Bob Marley statue that had to be removed because it didn’t look life like enough!
At any rate the media are having a field day with it, one journo going so far as describing the sculpture as “a rape of our democracy”.

But don’t feel too sorry for the sculptor though, Laura Facey Cooper is use to criticism. A little while back she got herself in a little trouble when she created a near-naked and well-endowed carving of Christ. And on the question of too well endowed, Laura’s response is “it is in proportion to the rest of the sculpture. I certainly didn’t overplay it.”

All I can say is lucky no one has a tin of pink paint! (re: Pretty in Pink article)

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What is a Brisbane council to do when a vandal goes and paints the vagina on a woman statue pink? Remove it quick. The poor old council was already under fire for having the controversial statue (which depicts a naked woman lying in a fetal position with her genitals exposed) erected in a park near Brisbane. Antone Bruinsma’s Birth of Venus, which was commissioned by the former Caboolture Shire, was deemed “offensive to women” by the new amalgamated one. So I guess they were rather pleased that someone went and dolloped the privates in bright pink. It wouldn’t be a council member now would it ?
Evidently attempts to clean the paint off failed. Pity the fool that got that job!So the council made an executive decision to remove the sculpture completely from the park, as they believe it will be a sitting duck for future graffiti artists and vandals. Hmm the artist’s respond to the council throwing naked pink lady into storage “I feel it’s insulting to women to remove a vulva because of somebody’s attitude.”

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Jamaica is mourning one its most controversial sculptors, Christopher Gonzalez. He was the artist that nearly created a full scale riot, after unveiling his statue of Bob Marley. It is no mean feat getting the Rastafarian’s in a tizz over a memorial, but he succeeded. Hmm, it seems, when the government commissioned him in 1983 to create a monument to honor Jamaica’s favorite son, they were not quite expecting what they got. Instead of a lifelike bronze they got a whole lot of interpretation. The iconic dreadlocks falling from Marley’s head, all the way to the ground, where they became part of the earth, did not impress. Nor did the lack of likeness to their legend. The public were horrified and the backlash gave the Prime Minister, Edward Seaga, no choice but to order it removed by JDF soldiers no less. The statue was sent to the National Gallery to hide, whilst a new statue was commissioned by a more conventional artist, Alvin Marriott. Still, I bet Alvin sweated over his design.
If that little fiasco wasn’t enough for Gonzalez, he moved on to offend the Catholics. Did no one warn him NOT to make certain parts of Christ’s anatomy too well endowed. Ah, but wait, there is more, can’t offend just one denomination, Anglicans got a taste of Gonzalez too. He caused a stir when he depicted Christ as a Negroid in a commissioned work for St Jude’s Anglican Church. So rest in peace Christopher, your work here on earth has been done!

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